I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
