Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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