i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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