I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
