I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
