I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When are your genitals available?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
