Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
