I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
