There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
smell my finger.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
