Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
