He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
