he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
