Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
