What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
