it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
