well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
