Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
