i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
