I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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