You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
