I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
