Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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