Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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