Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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