i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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