I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
