i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
