I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
