All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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