dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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