Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
