I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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