Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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