i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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