C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
