I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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