I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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