I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
