I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
