She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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