so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
