u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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