she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
