help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
