If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
