When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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