Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
