And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
