I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
