But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
pop tarts are not kleenex
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
